"Nobody said it was easy.”Cleaning my room, cooking, studying, lying, writing, talking on the phone, there is always this bitter feeling deep inside. It is mostly covered by the everyday thoughts, covered by ordinary everyday tasks; cleaning my room, cooking, studying … but it exists. As if I’ve swallowed a small ball of metal, I can taste its bitter cold rusty metallic taste always in the background of any other taste. Even strongest ones, taste of a calm evening with friends, flavor of a heavy alcoholic dance late on a Saturday night in the arms of a man down in a dark smoky pub, the joy of talking to my beloved family, none can cover that bitter cold taste in the background. It feels heavy in my stomach, and I haven’t been able to digest it for years. Maybe I should try to vomit it up. Will I succeed?
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“Fatigue is the process of subjecting a material to repeated cycles of stress or strain. Fatigue causes flaws in the material to grow in size and number and eventually lead to premature failure by fracture, usually at a stress level lower than the material’s static strength.”
*

“No one ever said it would be this hard.”